Saturday [The Night Owl...]

"we should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy,
even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry."
-e.b.white.


joy.
what an idea.
i feel as though sometimes its entirely elusive. foggy. distant. ungraspable.
and then, suddenly, sneakily, unexpectedly,
joy creeps in.

it's impressive really,the intensity with which one can find oneself overwhelmed,
caught off guard


by happiness.



but then, the pieces of your life puzzle slowly begin to fit together,
a picture forms,
you notice things that were not there before,
leave behind fears and give yourself over to abandon.

and somewhere, in amongst the living and the dream making and the hard work you find
an inexplicable sensation of contentment.

happiness isn't always hard to find.

the problem is usually that we look in all the wrong places.

i spent the weekend on a farm in the middle of nowhere.
driving along winding steep roads.
green on either side.
fog descending on the mountain peaks.
dinner in a valley.
antique fairs and handmade shopping.

i am in love.
i have moved on.
i am grateful for the past two years because i know nothing will ever be so bad again.


and you, you are nothing but a distant memory..

i'm alright, i don't mind, i'm just running into something bigger
than the something i left behind...

Friday [The Tumbling Night..]

this is where i was going to sing your name
over and over again...

Thursday [The Understanding..]

oh, hey 2010.
apparently you've got a lot in store..
art school?
yes, please.
new friends, old friends and travelling adventures?
sure, why not?
things that seem ridiculously scary and feel like they involve jumping off cliffs?


all the time.
[as long as i've got someones hand to hold]

in truth, i am less and less the person i was and more and more the person i've always wanted to be.

hey 2010?
be nice to me won't you?
i promise i'll give you everything i've got.
even if that occasionally means jumping from a height i'm not entirely comfortable with.


i promise i won't let you down this time.

i know things have changed since last year.
i know there are lots of things that are huge and different and daunting and scary.
i know that.
and i'm not fazed in the slightest.

i've no doubt that you will be beautiful.
wonderful.
precious.
and so so important.
i've no doubt there will be smiles and tears and nervousness and laughter and music
and art.
i'm sure there will be late nights spent wondering what it is i've gotten myself into.
and early morning starts with the knowledge of exactly where i'm going.
and then,
most importantly,
there will be you.
you, 2010, with your freshness and brand new starts.
you, i'm sure, will be marvelous.

i can't wait to see what we'll get up to.

so this is the new year, and i have no resolution...